Dear Uncle Carl,
We’ve recently been advertising a couple of sales positions through several channels and have so far received hardly any response after over a month. With the news that the UK has reached 2m unemployed it seems strange that there has been so little interest. I don’t think we’re a bad company to work for and we’re not bad salary wise either - I’ve checked.As the proprietor of a recruitment business I can tell you, you are not alone! Lots of businesses are looking for ‘sales bods’ to keep the pipelines full and gushing with opportunities but most are doing it without a great deal of luck. It’s a job that lots of people think they can do, and even claim to do, but the truth is that the good ones are locked in tight to their current businesses.

The problem with sales people is they can give great interviews and make a great first impression, but when it comes to winning business, that’s a different game altogether.  The best agency sales people can be the ones who own the business! Failing that, ask your own staff if they fancy it; they have the knowledge of your business, sectors, skill bases and systems. They may be looking for a change, perhaps you can incentivise their performance above their current salary and perhaps a change of role may appeal to them as they may be thinking that in this climate, a change of career may be around the corner!

Dear Uncle Carl,
I have started writing a novel in my spare time. It is something that I have wanted to do for a long time. However, now that I am well into the process, I am realising that life really is imitating art. Or art is imitating life. Although not on purpose, my characters have taken on the persona of a number of my colleagues. I’m worried that those characters/colleagues will recognise themselves in the book when it’s completed (especially my “technology illiterate” boss and the creative director “stuck in the 80s”). Do you think they will mind?

A novel about a busy advertising agency – just what the world needs, move over Harry Potter. So is art imitating life or life imitating art… or are you simply writing your own dull diary? They say that there’s a novel in all of us, maybe in your case they meant a navel?

Hey, who am I to criticise your literary talent, after all you know when to use the word ‘persona’ so you must be good. And your characterisations seem so unique and imaginative; who other than a great such as Tolstoy, Chekov or Pilkington could have thought of both a ‘technology illiterate boss’ and a ‘stuck in the 80s creative director’? That’s simply genius, I’m laughing out loud already... Sorry that was a hysterical giggle – it will pass. We all work in agencies; the cut and thrust of the Monday morning work in progress meeting, the hurly burly of the weirdos glued to the apple-macs producing ad templates for the local garage, the tediously long meeting in glass-walled offices talking over the client’s brand extension, the creative duo coming up with the next D&AD winning solution to selling haemorrhoid creams… You’re right: an advertising agency is a plot rich seam waiting to be mined by a wordsmith such as yourself.  I wouldn’t worry about people spotting themselves in your novel as, first of all, you have to get it published and someone has to actually buy the thing so the chances of anyone reading it, let alone spotting themselves before they chose to beat themselves around the head with it in preference to reading such tosh, will be unlikely.

Dear Uncle Carl,
This is not another letter complaining about my unreasonable boss – it’s his company, he can be as unreasonable as he wants. But when it starts to impact on the work we are doing we need to do something, surely? How can I stand up for what I think is right when he will argue black is white, and the next day change his mind? How should we meet all his demands?

Sounds like my first boss; what a pain in the arse he could be, he was never wrong and if he wanted your opinion he would give you it. I remember we had a ‘creative disagreement’ and he simply told me to ‘fuck off home’ …so I did.

The simple thing is you cannot change him or his approach I’m afraid and you never will. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I would say he is full of ideas, fast moving and spinning a lot of plates and ‘passionate’ about everything he does. The only thing you can change is how you react to him and interact with him and put in place ‘buffers’ between you and your teams. I did it for years with my second boss, the lovely but intense Judith Donovan. In fact, it wasn’t just bosses, I  also had an ‘ex’ who wanted all sorts of ‘stuff’ her way. But if you know your boss will change his mind and have selective memory loss then, when he tells you what he wants, immediately tell him what you believe he has asked you to do. Then write it down so he knows what you are responding to and then… do nothing! What I mean is don’t do anything straight away. If you know he changes his mind 90% of the time, then wait an hour/half a day/a day and then start the job to the written brief. Let him exercise his bizarre management style on the process rather than on the result.

Dear Uncle Carl,
With all the doom and gloom around at the moment I’m finding myself getting quite stressed out. Do you have any tips on how to unwind after a tough day in the office? And can you ever truly switch off from your job if you’re passionate about your work?

I am not sure you can ever turn off I’m afraid, you simply try to dull the pain! First thing you could do is turn off your phone. I always have mine on but rarely have the sound turned up. Phones are so intrusive, they ring, buzz, vibrate, beep, squeak and bark for your attention; they are worse than a sodding baby.

The best way to ensure a night’s sleep is to direct your passion for work to a passion for your partner and if you’re on your own in bed, still thinking of work, perhaps you should think of a… well it’s two letters different to work.